Friday, June 24, 2011

My Normal

I have been battling Epstein Barre for the last 16 years, however I didn't actually get a diagnosis until April of this year. I had been to Mayo Clinic, I saw a naturopath for 3 years, I went to a Chinese Medicine doctor and to a Chiropractor without so much as even a bogus diagnosis. My case was perplexing to all. Finally, my mom suggested that I go see Dr. Berkson in Las Cruces and now that I live in El Paso, getting to his office isn't a big deal. He diagnosed me with a short interview and a series of blood tests. I was so relived to have a diagnosis even if he couldn't help me, but not only did I get a diagnosis, but he is certain he can bring my EBV levels down to normal. I live tired. I have lived tired and with pain for so many years and as the years have gone on, my symptoms have become worse. My body does not function normally. I travel to Las Cruces for  IV treatments on the 2 days a week that I am off of work. He has me on Alpha Lipoic Acid drips. I have been doing this for about 3 months now and honestly I don't feel any different. I will have my blood work redrawn in a couple of weeks and the results should be telling. I am hoping that my treatment is working on the underlying cause and that my symptoms just have not caught up with the healing yet. When I got back from my treatment yesterday, we thought it would be nice to do something fun with the kids. Originally we were going to take them to my mom's house to swim, but the pool was out of commission for the day. Instead, we filled the kiddie blow up pool in the backyard and they had a blast playing. I enjoyed watching them, but felt so drained of energy. There is a spirit inside of me that is so full of life and that loves adventure and activity, but my body just can't keep up. I would like for just one day to wake up and feel normal...to wake up and feel up to the active lifestyle my personality is cut out for. Until I was told that there was a reason for my being so tired, I thought it was normal. I thought everybody felt the way I do and I would find myself amazed when friends would tell me that they have a life after their work day. It takes everything in me to get home, feed and bathe the kids and get them to bed....I believe that it is God who sustains me and that it is because of Him that I can function with a smile (and sometimes just function) at work, home and whenever we are out and about. That being said, I am ready for my body to feel normal again!
(Luca terrorizing his sister, as usual)

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